Lockdowns and Helicopters

I was here in Santa Monica. Where does the gun debate go now?

I woke up to sirens today. I’d slept in late because I worked an all-nighter. It wasn’t the most natural way to wake up.

My fiancée was home from work as well. As a teacher, her last day finished very early so the kids could get ready to graduate, and she found herself coming home to me to ask what was happening. I told her it might just be the President’s motorcade.

Then we heard helicopters. So I told her to go outside so she could see Marine One. In a fit of reason, she turned on the news instead of walking outside. The news told her to shelter in place.

There was a madman two blocks away in SWAT gear.

Now everyone knows what happened in Santa Monica.

And now, I know this: that madman was shot down at the exact spot where my dog Hank always finally poops on his morning walk.

I was supposed to take him on his morning walk, after I woke up from my all-nighter. I slept longer than I usually do.

And when my fiancée came home early, she wanted to cuddle with me instead of walking Hank. Thank god.

Both of us could have been in that spot he normally poops, at that time. That’s a little scary. What’s scarier is this:

Now, we will have another debate about gun policy.

And nothing will change.

Let me give you some background.

My dad is a member of the NRA. My mom hates all guns, even toys.

I got a shotgun when I was 14. That’s a funny thing to say, because I have never had it in my own possession. My dad’s view of gun safety was such that my shotgun lives in his gun safe to this day. I was only allowed to take it out in very controlled situations, where my dad taught me all of the rules. My dad never yells. Never. The only time I have seen him yell was when a kid was fucking up and being unsafe with a gun.

So I grew up in a very unique scenario: with one parent who hates guns (She says she “doesn’t believe in them” which leads my father to ask, “How can you not believe? They’re not elves. They exist.”) and one parent who likes guns very much and insists people respect what they can do.

I also like guns. This most likely puts me in the minority of this site. I get mad when people break the rules my father taught me, but in general, I like going out to shoot guns.

But even though I’m now 29, I still don’t own a gun, besides the shotgun that still resides in my dad’s gun safe. I am more comfortable defending my place with what I call my three rings of defense: a flashlight, two kinds of pepper spray, and an ancient t-ball bat called “Punishment.” (Once, someone broke in to my apartment when I lived alone, but it was the light, not Punishment, that scared them away).

All of this is just to say I feel like I am in a pretty decent position to look at the American gun debate. I’m conflicted, in the middle. And what I look at is this.

There are liberal people who never learned to shoot, who already stopped reading this. They want massive changes to gun laws.

And then there are conservative people who stopped reading when I said I left my shotgun with my dad. They want no changes to gun laws.

It is almost impossible for two groups to understand each other less.

That needs to change.

Over a bottle of Maker’s Mark, my father agreed with me on certain things that I think give us a way forward on gun reform.

Please stay with me. There’s something for everyone.

Liberals: Don’t immediately demand guns be banned. Spend time to get to know someone who likes guns, or just go shoot one in a controlled environment.

Conservatives: No one needs more than 10 rounds in one magazine. If they do, they probably never learned to shoot.

Liberals: Stop saying assault weapon. It is a lazy phrase. I am shocked by the number of people who never touched a gun who think that we are allowed to have automatic weapons. We aren’t! “Assault weapon” is a scary phrase that misleads non-shooters and enrages the Second Amendment crowd.

Conservatives: We need universal background checks. Wherever you are. Every state. Asking you to go through a background check to get a gun doesn’t change the Second Amendment. The amendment says “A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” It doesn’t say any lunatic should get a gun. It says WELL-REGULATED.

We know guns kill because we have the statistics. Wall Street Journal gives them.

At this point, I have pissed off everyone, which is a certain skill I have. It may ruin my dreams of running for office and changing the world.

Today, it’s my right. Today’s shooting happened where I walk Hank.

I want the liberal side to calm down their rhetoric enough that the conservatives don’t think they want to take away every gun.

I want the conservative side to calm down their rhetoric so that liberals don’t think they want guns being bought on eBay by anyone who wants one.

I admit it won’t solve all of our problems. But, it can get us closer.

Today, it was too close to home.

And I want a compromise now. Not 10 years from now.

Now.